Sade, sade, sade

Sade, sade, sade

I have always loved Sade from the first time I heard while sitting in the backseat of my mother's then Mitsubishi...on the way to the middle of nowhere. Not only that, I am realizing in my better age that she is the epitome of class...not only that she is unbelievably beautiful. You ever see someone with such a strong aura that it glows from inside of them and just pulls you in. She can do that from the stereo and the television. Something inside of me has always clicked and said "hey I like her". I really do admire her, especially in her past days. VH1 Soul was playing all of her videos and I ran across a video that I have never seen before and she looked flawless. I never really appreciated this song then but I can totally understand it now. I was about to turn until her face popped on the screen ;) She's BEAUTIFUL!

& then what do you know Ciara's "Ride" video is on (which I do like) but it's sad, all that pussy poppin, extravagant hair, makeup, accessories, risque clothing, sexual lyrics and she still doesn't look half as beautiful as Sade did in this video. Not nearly as sexy either. None of these starlets are, actually. Isn't it weird how that goes? But then again it's like that outside of television too.

inspiration

inspiration

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” - Mary Anne Radmacher

Love her YT Channel

The only unrealistic dream is a dream that is not being put into concentration.

13.

13.

Random BS for the day :)

When I was 13, I thought Beyonce was the most beautiful, talented thing walking on this Earth
Now: She's still great but I'm not obsessed...by a long ass shot lol

When I was 13, I thought I was in love
Now: I'm in love with my dreams and fell out of love with that thing a while ago

When I was 13, I had discovered N*E*R*D
Now: I'm a full blown fan

When I was 13, The Blueprint II was my favorite album out, Jay was my fav rapper
Now: He's still one of my fav rappers, I used to go hard for him back in the day

When I was 13, I used to make my shirts tighter by putting a rubber band around the back end of my shirt and rolling it under

Now: The shits tacky! Saw someone with their shirt like that at my job...w/ a hair tie...are you still serious? I didn't have enough body to fill out a loose shirt for a while so I always liked tight shirts and tight clothing until I blossomed a bit.

When I was 13, I loved Timbs ( had em in all sorts of colors), Jordans, button ups, and bubble jackets
Now: I'll do some sneaks or chucks here and there but it's mainly sandals, flats, and heels.

When I was 13, Bow Wow - Baby seemed like the soundtrack of my life
Now: I realized I was being very dramatic and he's a cornball to me.

When I was 13, My parents bought me a charm bracelet from Tiffany's that got stolen
Now: I feel bad about it and don't understand why my parents weren't mad

When I was 13, I was a vegetarian
Now: I'm trying (struggling) to get back to those good eating habits

When I was 13, I wanted a dude like Scarface
Now: I can see the point in that long lecture my mom gave me when I told het that

When I was 13, I was still playing video games
Now: Nope.

When I was 13, I had a lot of guy friends
Now: They don't exist and it's damn near impossible to maintain one without someone catching feelings.

When I was 13, I couldn't even imagine talking to a guy 2 years older than me and up
Now: I love older men.

When I was 13, I sat both of my parents down and explained to them why I will be having a boyfriend even though I was not allowed to & how it was needed.
Now: I never even got with the dude

So many other ridiculousness occurred at that time.
If my 20 year old self could tell my 13 year old self some things it would be to not lose her academic determination (I cared about good grades at that time), beware of who I befriend, and rise above the drama and negativity that was occurring in my life at that time. Lots of stuff I could not control was going on including non sense that I could have. I used to be the sulky type. Glad I learned. What would you tell your 13 year old self?

Tabi Bonney - Superhero

Tabi Bonney - Superhero

Saw this video on MTVJ and instantly loved it. I was wondering who it was and figured it was Tabi but really hoped it wasn't because I will always remember this corny song he put out eons ago

Therefore this spoiled the video and song a little when I found out who he was. His sexy swag in the first video had me fooled.

So Far Gone

So Far Gone

I made a decision today that I was gonna cut a very, very, big part of my life off today. Part of my life meaning a person. I just made a decision that I was finally gonna do it. Dead weight has been an issue for a long time and I don't like to waste time. But I noticed that that is the goal of toxic people, to cling on to you so that when you decide to let their ass go...it's one big guilt trip involved. Association is everything to me right now. I've managed to clean out everything, everyone else that I wanted to BUT this person who I should have gotten rid of so long ago, the most disruptive key factor in this growth process of mine. This change is so good but I have them around reminding me of a past I would like to let go of. The change is good for me but I have them clinging for dear life saying that it's not. No... my change is good for me, it's bad for you because you never thought about me in the first place, it's all.about.you. which is why you're not in the mix now. It's kind of like an abusive relationship when that person knows that they need you more than you need them, but they're fucking up, so in fear of losing you they butter you up & do things to make you feel sorry for them and make you stay. Well the cycle has to break someday or else it can kill you & I wanna live cause I have so much ahead of me. They say love who loves you not love who says they love you...but the fact is...they're not beneficial PERIOD.point________.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching for a while now and have been figuring a lot of things out which I really don't even have the time to freakin do right now but I gotta do it all now before things take off later...right now while my life is still has a slight rhythm where I can slow down and process everything. It's still hard because while I would like to sit and ponder on him, her, this, that... there's UCLA, MTV, internship, current internship, get another job that I have to worry about. I honestly think that's why a lot of people who rise to the top lose their damn minds, it happens so quickly, so much to worry about business wise but no time for personal issues, we all have issues & you gotta take care of em one way or another.

My life is very weird right now because I am still living the same but then I'm getting a taste of the life I wanna have, the success I wanna achieve, it can make you feel very weird as if you do not know exactly where you're at. You see your life changing, you see yourself changing and it's so different from what was but then again it's not. So close but so far. I feel kind of disconnected to a lot people from the past and my old self but fuck it, it's change, it's change that is needed in order to survive and continue. Drake - So Far Gone is a soundtrack to my life right now that has ALWAYS been an album that was dear to me but now...wow. It's exactly how I feel.

No Clue.

No Clue.

I was watching Eve's Behind the Music episode today which was really good and inspiring. She was talking on how naive she can be in regards to people and their intentions & since she thinks people are generally supposed to do the right things or use common sense she thinks everyone thinks the same so in turn they do the same. Everyone knows this is not true and even she does but sometimes I can be this same exact way. Not necessarily naive in that aspect but when it comes to people and doing dumb shit. Such as lying about your life online. I had no idea that there were so many people that did this that I know (that's what it was) until a few people have told me "stories" about it and the more stories I hear, the more I'm worried (not really). From what I'm hearing this lying usually takes place in status updates on twitter and facebook (mainly) & that blows me away even more because you are connected with people that actually know your ass. What the fuck and why? Some of us, esp our generation, are so obsessed on keeping up with the jones' that we will definitely lie about our possessions and portray the lifestyle of lavish whereabouts & $$$ just to impress one another. Oh, and what's really bad about it is that the people we're trying to impress are people we do not like. Now that I think of it I actually knew someone who posted about he/she being out of the country all the while they were 20 minutes away. I can't lol....I just can't. I thought this was a rarity but according to gossip it really isn't. It's funny and sad at the same time. Goodness, the stories I'm hearing.

Creating a physical facade is one thing, it's not healthy, but it's not that crazy as someone talking about certain far-fetched purchases and activities that they really don't have and are not doing. My naivete with these kind of situations is when I think that no one in their right mind would wanna do these things because at the end of the day it's still you and your normal little self and that should make someone feel so phony but I guess not. & yeah okay, these stars do the same thing but they get paid to sell fantasies. It's just like the people that live beyond their means just to appear that they "got it" and are in debt or really have nothin in the bank (I can go on about these damn people). Some people really believe in fakin it. Shits funny.

Sometimes I wanna just book a flight to the city (outside of my state) of my choice and start a new life. Not because I hate life here but because it's just something I want to do. Start from scratch, with nothing, no job over there, no home, and see what I can make happen. It's cool to know that there are actually people that do these things...but I'm actually acquiring some cool opportunities, tiny, tiny steps are being made but considering my goals... anything tiny can take you a long way when it comes to what I'm trying to do. I noticed that I dream BIG. I have never had "normal" goals and sometimes I wish I had and I've tried to but it's just not for me. I ended up clueless and it's okay to be clueless sometimes but a lot of us are only clueless because we know the answer but are afraid of taking the certain steps needed in fear of failure or just plain old laziness. Big dreamers who actually go after their dreams are the bravest people to me. They have so many people telling them 'this and that is usually impossible to achieve unless you do/know this or that' but they say "fuck it" and go for it anyways. Thing about these dreams that are scary is that they aren't that safe...it's either a big win or a huge fail. Doesn't mean you cannot get back up though. Big dreamers encounter so many doubters in life for not being typical or "Realistic" but always remember not to let the simpletons take over your judgment. It's not worth it. I always end up posting about things I didn't intend to. SMH.

Random YT Cmnts: Lot Brawl

Random YT Cmnts: Lot Brawl

I try to avoid these types of videos nowadays simply because it makes me feel horrible. Of course they can be entertainment (we're all human and that's why most people love these videos) but at the end of the day there is always a lesson to be learned about videos showcasing fuckery, well at least in my world. The sad thing is when the person who I got the video from is usually putting it on blast as if it is a good thing i.e. "bitch gets her ass whooped!!" I've already talked about this issue in a previous entry and can't get that much into it right now because I have somewhere to go but I always take interest in Youtube comments of a video & decided to post some.

Random Youtube Cmnts:

"The police are tied up trying to moderate protesters of a (supposedly racially charged) manslaughter verdict so....LET'S GET US SOME BLACK ON BLACK VIOLENCE! Watch as Pregnant high hos get punched and kicked by other hos and a pimp! and when the police show up well."FUCKZZ DA POLICE! YA" Where is the condemnation from within the black community of this type of stuff? You never hear it. Its always someone else's fault."

"I would like to say this is a shocking video, but sadly there is an endless stream of this, i could probably continue watching video after video of grown people acting like animals on youtube. And I try not to be a racist man, because PC wants me to call a spade an earth removing tool. So I will just state an observation. The vast majority of these videos are of 'african american' people."

"The best part about this whole video is the guy filming it. I just love black people! <3 "

"Sad that this is during the Oscar Grant verdict."

"i dont see black people. i just see a whole lot of uneducated, proud, dumbasses out on the streets doing what stupid people do when they get in fights... they doing and saying dumb shit. jackasses around the world are doing this shit. its no wonder shit si so fucked up."

"This proves that 95 percent of blacks are ghetto! "

"You don't touch a nigga's car, yet it's ok for a grown man to knock out a pregnant woman?" "

If you try and hold these people and their culture accountable, you are labeled a racist. The left is responsible for the destruction of their values, their culture, and their communities. Has big government solutions to the black community's problem since the civil rights era improved their situation? No. The left encourages hatred of whites and white values in order to create an obedient voting bloc. The leftist media never reports this point of view which is espoused by many blacks. "

Full Circle: The Media & our Moods

Full Circle: The Media & our Moods

Sometimes I wonder with this little world we live in...how much impact does the media really have on our lives? I already know that answer.

• If we turned on the news tomorrow and they were rejoicing on how the recession has magically ended & everything was going to be okay would everyone think the same?
• If we turned on the news tomorrow and they posted a warning about a growing nation wide panic regarding food shortage, how many people would get up and start looting and rioting for food just because "they" said it?
• With all this 2012 propaganda being displayed I honestly think there are gonna be a bunch of foolies the day 2012 strikes or Dec 21 2012 arrives that will cause some chaos to come into existence.

I was talking to a former news reporter the other day who was very tight lipped about why he/she resigned but one of the reasons was because of the Terrorism/Sept 11th scare. He/She was being told to report false news, exaggerated news, all sorts of propaganda to scare us. The purpose of it and my opinion is a whole 'nother entry but it's amazing how they had the country shitting themselves every morning when they would report the security color of the country. I remember when it would go from blue one day to orange the next day and me being the perceptive teenager I was at the time, it would scare me and I would wonder how in one day can we be free of a terrorist attack then we're capable of a full blown terrorist attack the next day. Just thinking back on that it was so ridiculous, the Osama Bin Laden videos (are we still looking for him?), the "Shock and Awe" coverage when we were going to war, them telling us the color codes regarding the security of the country but not telling us exactly why and how it got to that point for that day, Bush and his "we're gonna kick their ass" speech it was just one big freakin circus. Now you rarely hear about terrorism compared to the previous decade. What happened all of a sudden? Just like you don't hear about swine flu unless they feel like bringing it to the platform...what happened to that?

I'm pretty sure any smart person can differentiate between sensationalism and realism but there are still a lot of people out there that trust what anyone on the television is telling them. Why is it that we are so quick to trust these people feeding us information on the television without questioning or doing extensive research? Because I have definitely been that person at one point and can still be that person. Reality is reality, period, we are not in that good of a place...it is what it is but it's always good to question what is being fed to you.

We're living in a world now where we cannot trust anything unless it is validated by someone behind a television screen or a computer screen. For ex: my friend was talking to me about a woman who saw with her own eyes the twin towers being destroyed but she had to turn on the television to verify if what she was seeing is real. A lot of us have this mentality! How many of us have not trusted what a person said they were up to because it was not posted via facebook,myspace,blogger,twitter,aim etc? Human v Machine, that's what it's coming to these days and ironically our actions are reflecting it

Bluntcard.com

Bluntcard.com

Drake: Do it all

Drake: Do it all

"gettin stupid paid off of smart decisions"

Supposedly off of an un-official mixtape, No More Thank You's. The beat is everywhere but I like it regardless because of the content. One thing that irritates me though is the lack of effort in his voice lately. Is it just me or does it sound like he's sleepy and does not feel like recording? Partly the reason why I was not thanking Drake for his recent album [might as well talk about it]. Now THAT could have been a way better album for so many reasons but it was mediocre and Drake is not a mediocre artist to me (at least not yet) therefore mediocre is something I can't stand to hear from him. He is rumored to be releasing an official mixtape though and if there is truth to it (which I doubt but we'll see) then I am beyond excited.

Hair makes a difference

Hair makes a difference

Hair can make or break an outfit, that's my theory. For about 5 months now I've been giving mine a rest and letting it grow without cutting it into a style or doing all the other things I do and I hate it! Some days my outfit is just not complete because the hairstyle that I have & I noticed the same thing with this pic. 1.) I love Cassie 2.) Her hair is so fuckin G I dont care what any one says! I seem to be the only one amongst my peers that loves the side shaved hair, I LOVE IT! Anywho, the outfit looks 10x better than when she had the boring black hair. She's beautiful nonetheless.

TV Talk: Chad & T.O.

TV Talk: Chad & T.O.

Aw shoot! If anyone still knows me they know or they will know that I have a little thang for Ochocinco a.k.a. Chad Johnson. Not a football fan whatsoever (Bball chick over here) so it's not about his game I just find him to be beautifully designed in every aspect so naturally I was stoked about this show. Now I was not really excited about the idea of him having a dating show but just because I can see more of him, that's basically it, I think dating shows take away the celebrity of the actual celeb...it cheapens them.

In a nutshell this show was a sleeper. Of course though, like every black woman watching it, I noticed the extreme lack of black women in the final rounds (only two or three made it). Which makes me question that quick rumor that was out about him not wanting that many black women on the show. No shade at all, that's his preference. I'm not about to sit over here and lose my cool or sleep over it like some will. Furthermore, these chicks are kind of boring and I get them confused with one another because they all look the same (making this show a sleeper). I do have favorites though like Rubi and the chick that ran track. Other than that... Zzz.

The T.O. Show opened with Kanye West's Coldest Winter which was an instant win for me in my eyes. Mo & Kita should mind their business at all times. Real Brief:I was waitin for T.O.'s lips to get crusty in that cold ass snow. & This dude doesn't know where the hell his heart is Buffalo or Cali, hotel or Mo & Kita's houses, chick 1 or chick 2, he doesn't know what to do...and that's what makes the show a little interesting. SMH at him sending a package of his own stuff to chick two's house just to see her...somewhere someone watching that picked up that idea.

Yogi-ism of the day

Yogi-ism of the day

The rhythm of life is when you experience your own body, mind, and soul

Most definitely. Are you experiencing all of those three? Your own? Usually, as humans, we lack one of three. If we're experiencing our own bodies, we're not experiencing out own minds. But I do think when we experience our own minds then the soul and body will automatically come into play, depending on the mind of the individual. I tend to think in general we all have great minds but you have to activate it. A lot of people don't because of fear and conditioning but those that do are very lucky.

What is Yogi-ism? Yogi-ism comes from Yogi Tea, which I drink religiously. I have to drink at least a green tea everyday, without sugar, cold or hot. It just does so many good things. I just love herbs in general. I discovered Yogi Tea a while ago when I was on the search for some REAL tea (but I've had more potent tea now). Yogi Tea is one of those teas with a naturally good taste and they have different teas for different purposes. The tea bag comes with a saying on the tag and I loved these so much that I thought I'd share and blog about it :).

sn: I ran across some cool blogger template sites, someone asked where I got my layouts from I usually do my own but this one was downloaded and then tweaked. Here's some good links:Link 1 Link 2 Link 3

streetsy.com

streetsy.com

While I was interning yesterday I ran into streetsy.com & wooow. Streetsy.com is a site dedicated to street art and if you're like me you're a fan. I don't see that much out in CA but maybe I am just not around the right areas. The only street art I see is the hood graffiti on the walls. Some mural's here and there and Obey stickers but not a lot of street art [maybe I should research]. Cali's landscape and decor doesn't really fit for street art like in these place [In the photos: Philly and London]. We do have galleries dedicated to street art (but of course right?) A lot of people see it as vandalism and I can see where that comes in but for the most part it looks good to me. But I'm the type that sees too much perfection and thinks "boring" so splattering paint on the walls is my speed. Besides what's a city with character without inspirational, meaningful street art. I think it reflects some kind of consciousness and culture.

I'm in need of some peace and that is what I have been trying to get. Most of the rushed feeling I get is all of my fault [such as going to bed around 3 when I know I have to wake up at 7] but I love it. That's the thing sometimes, even when I feel the most "blah" about my life the most I love it! Right now I am at a very low-key point in my life because I'm spending my time trying to stand out to very important people. I am at my busiest and I love it because I can remember I time when I was not and I craved to be. Working at a job I dislike now, interning, sending cover letter and resumes, school, working out, trying to eat right, trying to sleep on time, trying to save money, oh yes and trying to keep my sanity, it's a task that causes me to go M.I.A. at the moment but I wouldn't have it any other way... only more which is only better. I noticed that I am so contradicting, I love inner peace with outer "chaos" & by chaos I mean having a lot going on -> getting a lot accomplished. This is neither here nor there

I'm planning on blogging more and using this for business purposes which is in development also. Also planning on blogging more about things that I like...as I planned but shit happens. I'm super busy and not like those people that claim they're busy but are only going to school and "busy" occupying facebook and twitter. I'd never thought it was possible to be to be too busy for those things let alone reply back to a text message timely. Until then more about more later, it's 3:10am and I gotta wake up tomorrow.