noo.

noo.

while searching for something on google

i accidentally stumbled upon a jail report of someone i knew in high school

very popular girl, younger than I. we were in between friend and associates.

i recognized the name and clicked because I was curious. that whole name is not common

same age.

same location.

arrested for what?

prostitution

not just once though

not just twice either

that's all I'll say about that.

one thing though

a simple search will lead you to her name

which is just down right wrong

& she can't know

because she is on these social networking sites flossing how much dough she's got

and how she's an entrepreneur . . . i remember telling my friend "i knew she would make it" after seeing and hearing about her 'accomplishments'

bottom line is

i knew this girl on a personal level

and knew about her lust for life , fame, and money as did most people

but her true dream did not get fulfilled and she has been succumbed into this lifestyle

which is heavily money motivated. which is alright. i understand. do what you have to do to get where you need to be. i understand that itch when things are not moving fast enough and 9-5's are not doing it for you.

but damn. damn. damn.

typical story: move away to where no one knows you and start a new life trying to make it doing things like that....I've heard about that story. Kind of like the strippers right out of high school type story.

i expected that from this person, but only as a last resort & not so soon.

now her looking cracked out lately, dramatic name change, empty gaze and isolation all makes sense now.

we are all growing up

and you just never know what is going on anymore

the fronts we put on just to appear that we're staying afloat

the things we do just to avoid the struggles, effort, and pains that come from growing up

the things we do to get paper to impress people that don't care about us, just so we can post about it

and it was all good a few years ago

she does in fact have the life that most of us do want, but what she's giving up for it is not worth it to most of us

that thrill chase is a motherfucker.